Your Side of the Court

Over the last several weeks, I have tried to help you and your partner shed some light on your sexual struggles. I asked you to reflect on your personal histories and how your experiences with sex, love, conflict, and support have shaped the way you approach your intimate relationships. Next, I asked you to examine […]

Conflict in Your Family

If you have been following along with the conversation topics I have offered for you and your partner, I hope that you have begun to uncover some of the ways your upbringing has affected your relationship, be it positively and negatively. Let’s turn now to the topic of conflict. Conflict Your family and upbringing teach […]

Power In Your Family

Last week, you and your partner discussed the members of your respective families. Now it’s time to dig a little deeper. Power in Your Family After discussing the members of your nuclear family, it is important to think about how your family handled power. Every family will come up with some way of deciding who […]

Your Family History

Understanding your part of the avoidance cycle in your relationship means taking a close look at your family history. In order to change your relationship patters, you have to get clear about your contributions to the problem and where they stem from. Let’s turn first to your upbringing. As I mentioned in last week’s blog, […]

Make a request, but remain flexible

My last several blog posts have focused on how to make discussing relationship difficulties with your partner easier. I talked about how using “I” language and confronting yourself first can demonstrate to your partner that you are willing to take responsibility for your part of the work. Let’s turn now to another important skill when […]

Distinguish between thoughts and feelings

In last week’s blog, I introduced the topic of broaching relationship conversations with your partner. Over the coming weeks, you will see posts laying out specific tools and examples to help makes those conversations easier. The first one is essential to any communication with your romantic partner:   Differentiate between thoughts and feelings   Discriminating […]