What Happens During Sex?

In this series of blog posts, I am asking you and your partner to examine your patterns around sex. You discussed initiation and how you talk about you sex life. Now let’s look at what happens during sex. What Happens During Sex Itself? Let’s take apart what happens in sex when you have it. Most […]

How Did Your Family Talk About Sex?

Last week, I asked you and your partner to discuss the love and support your experienced in your families growing up. Now let’s talk about sex. Sex Your family has a big impact on your attitude toward sex. Some of you come from families that were open about sex, talking about it and treating it […]

Power In Your Family

Last week, you and your partner discussed the members of your respective families. Now it’s time to dig a little deeper. Power in Your Family After discussing the members of your nuclear family, it is important to think about how your family handled power. Every family will come up with some way of deciding who […]

Your Family History

Understanding your part of the avoidance cycle in your relationship means taking a close look at your family history. In order to change your relationship patters, you have to get clear about your contributions to the problem and where they stem from. Let’s turn first to your upbringing. As I mentioned in last week’s blog, […]

Who Packed Your Bags?

My last several blogs have dealt with how to begin a conversation with your partner about sexual difficulties in your relationship. If you and your partner have come to an agreement about improving things together, you can now move into the conversations that form what I call the “discovery” part of the process. If you […]

Make a request, but remain flexible

My last several blog posts have focused on how to make discussing relationship difficulties with your partner easier. I talked about how using “I” language and confronting yourself first can demonstrate to your partner that you are willing to take responsibility for your part of the work. Let’s turn now to another important skill when […]

Confront yourself first

In last week’s blog, I talked about how using “I” language can help improve communication with your partner. Doing so acknowledges to both of you that you take responsibility for your own feelings. Likewise, it is important to confront yourself first when discussing relationship difficulties. Start by facing yourself honestly. Admit your negative parts and […]

Distinguish between thoughts and feelings

In last week’s blog, I introduced the topic of broaching relationship conversations with your partner. Over the coming weeks, you will see posts laying out specific tools and examples to help makes those conversations easier. The first one is essential to any communication with your romantic partner:   Differentiate between thoughts and feelings   Discriminating […]